Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Day Nine and Ten

To all my viewers who hate hair as much as I do. I don't recommend reading this post. Let me explain to you how much I hate hair. I hate hair so much that if I would look good bald, I would shave my head. I hate cleaning up hair, even my own. Nothing is more disgusting that wet hair or a glob of hair. I'm not trying to be racist so please don't take this the wrong way but naturally darker skinned people have a lot of hair. My two best friends are two of those people. It's not racist, its the truth.

One day after "it" 'officially' moved in I got up to take a shower for work at 5 in the morning and I walked into the bathroom and found my tub clogged. There was nasty dirty water still in the tub with a ring of dirt half way up the side of the tub. (in case you didn't know "it" only takes baths, "it" doesn't shower, ever.)

Now I don't care who's 'fault' it is, but you should never leave a tub like that especially when you live with 3 other people. That is completely disrespectful. HOWEVER, "it" and "it's" significant other blamed the mess on me saying that it was my hair that clogged the tub and tried to say that "it" doesn't have enough hair to clog the tub and it was all my fault. First of all, little black hairs from shaving my legs every other day is not enough hair to clog the bath tub, second of all when the maintenance guy came to unclog the tub he pulled out a wad of curly dark brown hair the size of my fist. (My hair is not curly and it is not black).

Here is the mess "it" leaves every time "it" takes a bath.

See all that dirt????? That dirt is all over the bath tub. (this picture was taken last night) Another thing that it leaves is ....
A wad of curly black hair. I think i just through up in my mouth a little bit.  and of course "it" also leaves

Dirty underwear on the floor. (double barf)

Unfortunately I'm not done showing you the extent of "it's" hair. Remember when I said I was on a cleaning strike because of the multiple hair products I found in the kitchen? and then i broke the cleaning strike last weekend cause I had a few friends over? Well the cleaning strike is back on due to hair in the kitchen.

Hair in the sink and....

hair in the freezer....... I don't think I need to say anything else.

2 days after I broke my cleaning strike

Kitchen ^^

Living room ^^^
It's like I have children who drink beer and their favorite word in the English dictionary is "bitch".

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Day Eight

So if you remember Friday (Day Six) I broke my cleaning strike and you saw the before and after pictures. Well on day eight this is how my kitchen/living looks like after only 2 days.
So not as clean as it use to be but still not that bad.  Just two days of binge drinking and the pee towel is now on the floor of the kitchen.

But I think "it's" significant other has stopped cleaning up after "it" because "it's" clothes are piling up in the bathroom.

As you can see there were yesterdays pair of dirty underwear and today's pair of dirty underwear. It seems my bathroom floor has not become "it's" hamper once again. Better than my love sac which is now in my room. Thanks to my little niece needing a place to sleep it was a good excuse to get my love sac out of harms way. Even though it takes up my whole bedroom floor I am happy knowing that "it" can no longer sit on it naked/dressed or otherwise.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Day Seven

Right now it is technically 12:12 AM on day eight but considering I just got home from my all day events I'm counting everything until I go to sleep for Day Seven. At this point in time "it", "it's" boyfriend, my brother and one other guy are in my kitchen drunk. The Conversations that they are having are interesting at best, but "it's" comments are soooo good that "it" insults "itself" for me. I don't even have to say anything! Just smile and agree :).

Best "it" comments of the night: "Josh says he's picky but he's with me so I guess he's not"

I also came home to another dirty under and bra in the bathroom
AND the kicker! The pee towel is on the kitchen table. I think I am going to puke.

Why is it the pee towel?? Because "it" uses an abnormal amount of toilet paper. 3 times in one week I went into the bathroom and "it" had used the entire roll of toilet paper and did not replace it. Of course the only logical thing to do is wipe with "it's" towel. Well this is the towel that is on the kitchen table (that I wiped with 3 times) It is also the same towel that you have seen in all but 2 dirty underwear pictures because "it" never cleans it. Why? because "it" never cleans.

At this point in time "it" is complaining about "it's" fat stomach. 2 minutes before that "it" was crying about how much "it" hated me and 2 minutes before that "it" was trying to get the new guy to grab "its" boobs.

I don't understand how "it" has friends or a significant other. Will some one please explain it to me?

Day Seven we have:
5 dirty underwear pictures
6 What the fuck is that? pictures
5 Pizza Boxes.
The kitchen and living room was clean yesterday. I'll take pictures tomorrow to show how messy "it" is in 2 days.
The pee towel moved from the bathroom to the kitchen counter top (unwashed)
and multiple priceless "it" stupid sayings.

Hope you are enjoying.

Day Six

Today I broke my cleaning strike. I couldn't handle it any more! That and I invited some friends from high school over that I haven't seen in forever and I wasn't about to let them see my place for the first time looking like pigs live there. Pigs do live there but I don't want that to be their first impression.


Kitchen Before



Kitchen After


Stove Before (sorry really fuzzy picture)

Stove After


Living Room Before


Living Room After


Now like I said, I invited a few friends over that I haven't seen in a really long time and these are definitely people that "it" has never met before. "it" came home and took a bath before "it" left to go to the bar. This is what "it" left for all my guests to see...



Yup... Dirty underwear and bra. (yes that nasty towel is still on the floor) "it" also left this....


Did a small animal die in my tub????? Nope!! Thats' just "it's" wad of hair! I think I just through up in my mouth a little bit.... I think I'm back on my cleaning strike. 

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Day Five

Today is April 19, 2012. I got a call from my real estate agent today letting me know that my condo should be finished being remodeled today! Super excited! I'm going to see it tomorrow to make sure that my inspection is good to go. I am so close to no more dirty underwear in the living room.... yes the living room

I don't understand how "it" is not embarrassed by this. I'm sure "it" will be once I change all ' "it"'s ' to "it's" real name.

By the way the kitchen looks worse and the towel in the bathroom is still on the floor. Good news? I bought a new nail brush that will not be left in the bathroom.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Day Four

Today is April 18, 2012. I have 26 days left to live with the "thing". It is now getting to the point where "it's" voice sends a chill down my spine much like that of nails on a chalk board. It's also getting to the point that everything out of "it's" mouth the first thing to pop in my head is a snide comment, such as
"it" says: AWW my back hurts!
I think in my head: "Maybe you should be on it so much." Or
"it" says: If I don't do laundry I won't have any clothes to wear tomorrow
and of course I think in my head: you don't wear clothes anyways so why does it matter?
"it" says: why am I only folding underwear?
I think in my head: because when you do wear clothes all it is, is underwear and then you leave it on the bathroom floor.
Like this ^^^ day 4 second picture of dirty underwear and bra on the bathroom floor. And yes that towel has been there since April 1st.

As I am writing this "it" is calling "it's" significant other a "stupid bitch" while beating "it's" significant other. I would intervene but I kind of find it amusing.

"it" also just told my brother to tell his girlfriend to delete "it" from facebook because "it" doesn't like her.... If I was my brother "it" would have had "it's" head bit off again.

And yes I meant again. The thursday before I started this I bitched at "it" for a good 30 minutes, if my brother wasn't there I would have thrown "it" off the balcony.

"it" and "it's" significant other are now fighting about the side of the couch they like to sit on. Oh my god I'm not going to last another 26 days. Somebody save me.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Day three

It is April 17th, 2012 and I havde 27 days left to live with "it". Now do you remember this picture from yestesrday?

Now when "it" got home "it" realised how bad it looked so "it" placed my nail brush neatly in a drawer.


What does that say to you? It says that "it" isn't stupid enough not to know what the brush is used for, "it" tampered with my shit on purpose. Trust me, pay back was paid. All in due time i will let you know. I will give you a hint.... It has something to do with this brush^^^ and the pillow on the bed below
Now when me and two friends walked in to my place today "it" was sitting on the couch with 3 guys and "it" was in "it's" underwear..... what the fuck? Do i need to repeat what I said yesterday? **cough cough** WHORE **cough cough** sorry about that I must smoke too much.... anyways I couldn't get a picture of it because it was too dark. Sorry, I'm sure you were all wondering.

Now about the pizza boxes. I was wrong about the count, I do appologize. there are actually 5 boxes of pizza in 2 days.

The top two boxes were the ones from last night. The bottom box was from earlier, I'm not sure how much earlier but this is what they do. They order pizza, don't finish it, put it in the fridge for later, forget they have it and order some more. I found out something disturbing last night. They order pizza so much that they know mulitple delivery people and ask for them by name. Its like that friends episode were ross has a crush on the pizza delivery girl and they order like 20 pizzas, except in this case "it's" just fat.

Now the kitchen looks like a tornado hit (more than ususal). the dishes are still in the sink and growing
I'm not sure if you can see that orange cooler on the left hand side... thats new. And also what the fuck is this?

Now I have noticed that "it's" closest has been spilling into the hall...
And "it" has taken the stuff that was originally in "it's" closet and moved it out of "it's" way....

I'm not sure if "it" knows that this is a furnace. You're not suppose to store things in this space. "it" is not only putting my life in danger but about 100 other peoples lives in danger.

In case you didn't know "it" isn't suppose to be living in my appartments. "it" is not on the lease. "it" has overstayed "it's" welcome.